It wasn’t so very long ago that I removed all my old books from Amazon and decided that my publishing days were behind me. Upon reflection, it was a hastily made decision but still one that I don’t really regret. Once I decided to return to Amazon and self-publishing, the decision was made to leave all my old books in my Buy Me A Coffee store, while the Zon books would be my new chapter. There was one title, though, that niggled at me, so let me tell you the story of The Hollow-Eyed Girl.

This was a story where the title came to me first, almost from out of nowhere. I had zero idea what to do with it until I bought my daughter a Christmas gift. It was one of those games where they mail you out a bunch of clues, and you have to solve a horror mystery. Suddenly, the title I had in my head felt like a good fit for one of those games.

I set about writing it as usual, and when I was done, I sent it in to my publisher. They suggested that it might be a good fit for a box set of books that was about to go on a run to try and land in the USA Today Bestseller List. The idea of having that title above my author name seemed appealing, so I accepted the offer, which also meant delaying the release of the book for about one year.

You see, a list run is not something that happens quickly. You essentially spend a year of your life promoting the set and trying all kinds of things to get people to pre-order. The goal is that when that year is up and the book goes live, you will have sold enough units to land on the list. You also find out that not every author involved in such things is willing to put in the work required to get you there.

By the time release day was rolling around, my publisher felt confident. She had done this a few times before and the numbers were better than usual. Everything looked great, and then Dr Seuss happened. You might not remember this, but a few of his books were labeled problematic and were set to be pulled from the shelves. The internet overreacted and thought the good Doctor was being cancelled, so they went on a buying spree. Something like 5 or 6 of his books made the list, and we missed out.

It was a soul sucking experience, not to mention an expensive one, as being in these list runs comes at a cost. It almost spelled the end of my writing career, as I was totally disillusioned, mostly because of the few authors who did nothing during the run. Had they put in the effort, we might well have succeeded.

Anyway, a while after the fact, I released The Hollow-Eyed Girl as a standalone to little fanfare. My regular readers had already bought the set, and while some nabbed the paperback, the book totally tanked. I probably sold less than 10 copies, which I thought was an unfair end for a little book that I really liked. It became my forgotten title, until now.

The more I thought about it, the more I believed that this story deserved a second chance. Some of it is because it is a fun read, but another part is that the main characters are named after my kids. I loved the idea of putting them in this adventure, using parts of their real personality within the characters.

So, with the decision made, The Hollow-Eyed Gorl is getting a rebirth. I have put the eBook up for pre-order at just 99 cents, although that will jump to $2.99 on release day, which is September 29. The paperback will be available on that day, too. I am not much of a sales pitch type of guy, but I hope you will give this book the life I thought it deserved.

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As many of you may already be aware, I recently made the decision to start self-publishing on Amazon. I had a great run with a small indie publisher called Crazy Ink, where everything was taken care of for me. All I had to do was write and then do some marketing when the book came out. After a period of not doing much creative writing, I returned with the idea that my publishing days were over, and I was comfortable with that.

That comfort did not last long.

When I decided to head back to Amazon, it was down to a couple of things. My Buy Me A Coffee store, which is where some of my old books now reside, was not seeing a ton of action, plus, I wanted to start having paperbacks made again, as that is where indie authors can really make some money. With the decision made, I also made it clear to myself that this venture had to pay for itself. I am not about to bankrupt myself for what might end up being a vanity project. This is going to be harder than I imagined.

The first book I released was a collection of drabbles that I had already written. It felt like a good way to figure out how to upload, size covers, and do all the stuff required to self-publish. Since this was something of a test run, I was more than happy with a Canva premade cover, and also not too concerned with how much this one made. It was good that I went in with that mindset, as it has been a bit of a bust to this point. That, though, was somewhat expected, as what I am essentially doing is starting from the ground floor again.

Let’s talk about the money now, as I’m sure many of you who are considering self-publishing are going to be interested. Amazon has a price point for eBook and paperback where higher royalties kick in. If you price an eBook at $2.99 and a paperback at $12.99, you get 70% of each sale. Anything below those prices and you are looking at a 35% cut. What you are left with as an unknown author is pricing a book to make a decent cut, but to also potentially scare off readers who are not prepared to pay those prices for an unknown.

Now, there is the option of Kindle Unlimited for your eBooks, but the return on that is low right now. I remember the days when it used to be over a half cent per page read, but the influx of AI written books, all of which go to KU, has sliced that. As it stands now, each page read delivers about $0.035 to the author. it’s not a lot, but I think it helps people take a chance on a book that they might ordinarily skip past.

Right now, my earnings for Tiny Terrors is sitting at a little over $17, but I am hoping I will add more to that once the paperback comes out on September 8. I am setting the price for that at $9.99, which triggers the lower royalty and will mean that I make less on paperback sales ($1.77) than I do with the eBook version. This is more about making it a decent price and going for quantity. I have to pay for an editor for my YA horror release, with will be about $75, but since the cover is already done and paid for, that is not so bad.

Moving forward, I will need future releases to earn in the region of $200 or more in order to afford the next release and make a little bit of money. Of course, anything I make on Substack or Buy Me A Coffee will also be added into that pot.

Buy Me A Coffee

I understand that this is going to be a slow, perhaps somewhat painful, rise back to the level I was at when I was with a publisher. As an indie, leaving years between your last release and the next is career suicide, as even your most loyal readers will move on and forget about you. Right now, it’s all about trying to deliver great stories and build back an audience. I hope you guys will continue to follow me on that journey.

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At a very early age, I dismissed the idea of all things spiritual. My brain is one that works best with proven facts and science, and while I lean heavily into the fantastic when I write, I am very much grounded in the real world. My opinion on all of this will never change, but I have had a couple of things happen that shake those beliefs, albeit not enough to linger.

Where it all began was with the passing of my Mum. Jessie Watson was not just my mum, she was also my best friend, even when I was at an age when it wasn’t cool to be hanging out with a parent. Her passing was the event that sent me down the path of poor mental health. It was a life changing moment that sticks with me to this day.

In the last few months, as I have been working my way back to a better headspace, she has been showing up in my dreams regularly. Just last night, I had a dream that we were in Glasgow looking for a specific shop that sold a Scotland jersey, all while having a fabulous chat. Today, while out walking, I had a butterfly come fluttering around me, which many see as a sign of a loved one checking in.

Let me tell you about another little moment like that before I get to what happened today. Last year, I ended up in the ER due to crippling anxiety attacks that I believed were killing me. After getting the all clear, and some heavy meds, I made it to my own doctor. I was terrified, but as I headed out to the Uber, there was a butterfly sitting on the bush outside. It did not move as I passed it. One the way back, after a really good physical, I got into another Uber. As soon as I got in, an old Barry White song started playing. My family always had fin parties, and my dad always played that song, knowing it would get me and mum up to dance. It very much felt like checking in.

I have been feeling a little stressed and anxious since releasing my book, but well in control. After seeing the butterfly, I came home to find out that a cover designer I love wanted to help me create what I wanted within my budget, and also that some kind individual had made an amazing donation on Buy Me A Coffee that exactly covered the down payment of the cover. It felt like everything was simply falling into my lap.

I should tell you all that my mum’s birthday is in 5 days from now, so it feels like she is giving ME a gift as opposed to waiting for one for herself. That is exactly how she was in life, so it makes sense. This afternoon was one of the first times that I have cried happy tears for quite some time. I am also only 3 days away from my 17th wedding anniversary and am married to the greatest woman ever.

I’m sure it won’t last forever, but for now, everything is right in my world.

Editing & Book Cover Tip Jar

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It wasn’t so very long ago that I decided to part ways with my publisher and strike out on my own. At that time, I was content with the idea of my publishing days being in the past. Substack seemed like a good place to throw out stories and build a little audience. Buy Me A Coffee seemed like a decent place for my old books to reside and perhaps sell a copy or two.

Something changed, though, and I decided that a return to Amazon was the way to go. My wife had been at me to do so for a minute, but I am a stubborn old bugger, and it has to make sense in my head before I pull the trigger on anything. Have I mentioned that my wife knows me better than I know myself?

Since I had already accumulated over 300 drabbles during my time here on Substack, I thought putting those together was a decent way to get back into publishing and to actually figure out how to do it. When you have a good publisher, as I did for so many years, all you need to worry about is writing.

The Tiny Terrors Drabbles book hit the Amazon store on August 18 and is admittedly rough. I thought about painstakingly editing it, but it occurred to me that I liked the idea of these little tales appearing exactly as I typed them. Sure, it will probably get me hammered in reviews, but I am okay with that.

Now, moving forward, it will be all professional covers and editing, so this venture has to pay for itself. My old editor from my publishing days is on board, plus I have a couple of HUMAN designers that I can turn to. That said, releasing a new book is going to cost me about $200 every time. What that means is that any money I make here on Substack or BMAC or Amazon will be getting funneled right back into publishing. If I have a finished story and no funds for a cover or an edit, it waits until I do, no matter how good I think it might be.

The fun part now is that I get to share this journey with you guys. I will share my self-publishing experience, warts and all, and hopefully help you guys avoid the inevitable mistakes I am going to make. Prepare for highs and low and a whole lot of venting. I hope you will all join me on the journey.

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