My Magical Mahalo Moment

How Hawaii changed everything for me

On September 28, my wife and I will board a plane bound for Maui, Hawaii, almost 4 years to the day since we last left that island. Every 4 years, the company my wife works for has a big conference out in Hawaii. The bonus is that I get to tag along, so let me tell you all about the rollercoaster of emotions I went through the first time we made that trip.

I was in a very different place 4 years ago, with poor mental health beginning to sink its nasty little claws into my fragile brain once again. When the opportunity for me to travel with my wife came along, I initially said no. The idea of a trip of that magnitude filled me with a level of anxiety that was almost impossible to shake. One night, while out having a beverage or six, my wife asked again, and I agreed to go. She had my flight booked before I could sober up and change my mind.

As tends to happen, all my fears slipped away once our journey began. The moment we set foot on Maui soil; I could sense that this was a place that was a little different. By day 2, my phone was turned off, and I allowed the serenity of the island to flow through me. I have never felt more relaxed or in tune with a place, other than my native Scotland, in my life. To say that I was emotional when it came time to leave is putting things rather mildly.

When we got home, I felt changed. I was as though the “sick” part of me stayed behind, while the goodness of Hawaii came home with me. That good feeling lasted quite some time, but eventually, it began to wear off, with reality beginning to drag me down again. Two years after that, I found myself in the ER under the weight of yet another crippling anxiety attack. The good that came out of that was that I got back on medication and started a healthier lifestyle, which included getting back to creative writing.

While I know what to expect from our trip this time around, I’m not sure how it will affect me mentally. I assume I will slip back into full relaxation mode, but will it stick when I get back home this time around? Will the aloha spirit stay with me for the next 4 years? There is no way I can predict the answer, but this time, just like the last, I will say Mahalo to Maui and the people who make that island a real paradise.