The Noise Beneath the Silence
Three Drabbles Where Fear Doesn't Come from the Dark...It Comes from Within
Today’s trio of drabbles are all about the horrors of mental health. If you ever need to vent, my chat is open, but if things are worse, please talk to your doctor or seek help at:
https://988lifeline.org/
Failure
As long as you do your best, failure is acceptable. That seems like a reasonable enough assertion, but what if you fail every time? I am trying, but death will not accept my invitation.
Trust me, these are not calls for help or half-assed attempts at ending things. I want to leave this life, yet something keeps me in place, prompting me to try and fail again.
Now, I am simply waiting for whatever wants me here to show itself. Is it a benevolent being or something darker? From the shadows I now see, I believe it is the latter.
Upward and Out
In my time driving this ambulance, I have seen things that are impossible to explain. Death is never the same for everyone. Some go quietly, while others depart, kicking and screaming.
In the moments between calls, I often reflect on those deaths and look for some connection. I’ve seen souls leave bodies, some in an upward direction, others heading down. Is this their path to the afterlife.
When I look in the rearview mirror, I see my demons moving upward and out, reaching from inside my head as they try to strip me of my sanity and zest for life.
All In My Head
In terms of size, the space between the ears is relatively small when compared to the vastness of the universe. Then again, that small piece of real estate may hold more worlds than all the galaxies combined.
It is almost terrifying to think that I am losing control of my own world, that it is spinning of its axis and threatening to collapse under the weight of my fears.
I am, it would seem, an unreliable ruler who should not be in charge of something so fragile. I cannot, though, hand over the reins to another, and so I continue.