Day of the Aging Writer

Racing to beat the ticking of the clock

There comes a time in your life where you start to think about death more often than ever before. There is a creeping sense of inevitability that arrives, making you wonder just how long you have left before time runs out or you become too frail to do anything meaningful.

When I saw this “Day of…” challenge, my initial thought was to talk about writing horror and how ideas and images turn dark when I try to put them into a story. I realized, though, that talking about aging and how the ticking of the clock might be more important, as it is something we will all eventually go through.

As I write this, I am 58 years old, in relatively decent health, and feel as though I have many good years ahead of me. Feeling that way is one thing, but I also understand that there are zero guarantees in life and that my time could run out quicker. The question you all probably want to know is how that impacts my everyday life as a writer.

I will do my best to explain it, and the word that immediately comes to mind is “frantic.” I have a million ideas in my head, but I know that it will be impossible for them all to see the light of day. This is one of the reasons I turned to drabbles and flash fiction here on Substack. I see those as the perfect way to get ideas out there and to make space in my head for more.

With that in mind, my average day as an aging writer is spent hammering out words or thinking about them. I have other things, such as videos, music, and art that I want to create, but all of ties into the words. On the days where I refuse to focus and instead think about them all, that is when I become frantic.

Now, you might imagine that as a horrible feeling, and in some ways, it is, but it is also when I am at my creative best. The spigot is wide open, and everything is flowing. There are no clogs, no drips, and nothing but clear pipes delivering fresh ideas that excite me. My wife will watch me fidget, pace the room, and talk a mile a minute. She knows what is happening better than I do now, so on those days, she mellows me out and gets me to focus.

No two days are really the same when you write all the time, but there are common threads throughout, not all of which are positive. On those days when things are bad, it is the thought of aging and the ticking of time that keeps me tapping away on my laptop. I hope I have many more days to share with you all.