Love is Like a Butterfly

Hello? This is the universe calling!!

At a very early age, I dismissed the idea of all things spiritual. My brain is one that works best with proven facts and science, and while I lean heavily into the fantastic when I write, I am very much grounded in the real world. My opinion on all of this will never change, but I have had a couple of things happen that shake those beliefs, albeit not enough to linger.

Where it all began was with the passing of my Mum. Jessie Watson was not just my mum, she was also my best friend, even when I was at an age when it wasn’t cool to be hanging out with a parent. Her passing was the event that sent me down the path of poor mental health. It was a life changing moment that sticks with me to this day.

In the last few months, as I have been working my way back to a better headspace, she has been showing up in my dreams regularly. Just last night, I had a dream that we were in Glasgow looking for a specific shop that sold a Scotland jersey, all while having a fabulous chat. Today, while out walking, I had a butterfly come fluttering around me, which many see as a sign of a loved one checking in.

Let me tell you about another little moment like that before I get to what happened today. Last year, I ended up in the ER due to crippling anxiety attacks that I believed were killing me. After getting the all clear, and some heavy meds, I made it to my own doctor. I was terrified, but as I headed out to the Uber, there was a butterfly sitting on the bush outside. It did not move as I passed it. One the way back, after a really good physical, I got into another Uber. As soon as I got in, an old Barry White song started playing. My family always had fin parties, and my dad always played that song, knowing it would get me and mum up to dance. It very much felt like checking in.

I have been feeling a little stressed and anxious since releasing my book, but well in control. After seeing the butterfly, I came home to find out that a cover designer I love wanted to help me create what I wanted within my budget, and also that some kind individual had made an amazing donation on Buy Me A Coffee that exactly covered the down payment of the cover. It felt like everything was simply falling into my lap.

I should tell you all that my mum’s birthday is in 5 days from now, so it feels like she is giving ME a gift as opposed to waiting for one for herself. That is exactly how she was in life, so it makes sense. This afternoon was one of the first times that I have cried happy tears for quite some time. I am also only 3 days away from my 17th wedding anniversary and am married to the greatest woman ever.

I’m sure it won’t last forever, but for now, everything is right in my world.